








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 376 | 15% |
| Smokes | 695 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 659 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,917 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MickeySquirt67 | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Ivdea Delenda Est | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Deyone Gibson | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | niin o | 44% | 108 |
| #5 | SafetySpoon | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | wuju style | 43% | 35 |
| #8 | schrimblo | 40% | 65 |
| #9 | DefinitelyNotLenny | 31% | 16 |
| #10 | CrazyJoven | 27% | 15 |
| #11 | Glucose Guardian | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 28 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | schrimblo | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | SafetySpoon | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | wuju style | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Deyone Gibson | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 236 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | wuju style | 74 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | schrimblo | 68 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Deyone Gibson | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | MickeySquirt67 | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | +5.35 | 96 | 53 |
| #2 | Glucose Guardian | +3.20 | 93 | 39 |
| #3 | MickeySquirt67 | +0.31 | 82 | 47 |
| #4 | wuju style | -0.82 | 51 | 41 |
| #5 | Dungus | -1.49 | 65 | 46 |





