








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2030 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2365 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2498 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,274 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeniFknWaffle | 75% | 112 |
| #2 | JimFknMy | 70% | 138 |
| #3 | JoFknLines | 64% | 244 |
| #4 | k11 | 63% | 84 |
| #5 | SimonFknSay | 63% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SimonFknSay | 63% | 161 |
| #6 | ✪ Dvϟ | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | quique404 | 56% | 36 |
| #8 | PeFknLongui | 55% | 60 |
| #9 | Tirpa | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimonFknSay | 49 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | JoFknLines | 33 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | PeFknLongui | 14 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | SeniFknWaffle | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | JimFknMy | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimonFknSay | 1054 | 0.33 | 26 min |
| #2 | JoFknLines | 982 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #3 | SeniFknWaffle | 216 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | JimFknMy | 189 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | k11 | 147 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoFknLines | +4.17 | 71 | 79 |
| #2 | SeniFknWaffle | +2.23 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | ✪ Dvϟ | +1.59 | 86 | 76 |
| #4 | SimonFknSay | +1.43 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | JimFknMy | +1.27 | 69 | 64 |





