










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 2% |
| Smokes | 82 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 62% |
| Molotovs | 180 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,660 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roach AL | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | RaZeD | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | W0lfy2 | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | THES1MPG0D | 39% | 33 |
| #5 | supr3m♥ | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supr3m♥ | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Sammy De | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bandit | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ' Ant ' | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | THES1MPG0D | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supr3m♥ | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | THES1MPG0D | 56 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sammy De | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | bandit | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | RaZeD | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | +3.34 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | supr3m♥ | +2.54 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | Roach AL | +2.48 | 88 | 40 |
| #4 | bandit | +0.57 | 56 | 35 |
| #5 | ' Ant ' | +0.48 | 75 | 52 |





