








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Esplay | 48 matches | 1,668 | |
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3770 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3131 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3018 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2702 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,187 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanielSeljen | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | カッター | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | LuckyLuk | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | Lord Tøffluz | 53% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hanna♡ | 50% | 104 |
| #9 | TooooEasy | 47% | 66 |
| #10 | Ràmon | 47% | 49 |
| #11 | ♡ icy | 46% | 26 |
| #12 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TooooEasy | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Lord Tøffluz | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | カッター | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Tøffluz | 315 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 298 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | TooooEasy | 155 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Salad | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ràmon | 118 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S0kken | +1.85 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | TooooEasy | +1.15 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | DanielSeljen | +0.87 | 64 | 32 |
| #4 | Salad | +0.80 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | +0.40 | 72 | 58 |





