








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,574 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7420 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5198 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2796 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5421 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,183,670 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | ♡ icy | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | DanielSeljen | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | S0kken | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | Hanna♡ | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | GRAN | 47% | 30 |
| #13 | CharlieXX | 47% | 60 |
| #14 | Salad | 44% | 32 |
| #15 | Jokoor | 44% | 55 |
| #16 | DannyG | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kruger | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | S0kken | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Jokoor | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Justin Time | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Ràmon | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kruger | 645 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Justin Time | 331 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Motzi | 280 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 277 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ràmon | 275 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokoor | +3.39 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | Justin Time | +2.82 | 67 | 69 |
| #3 | S0kken | +2.31 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | DanielSeljen | +1.70 | 81 | 39 |
| #5 | Kruger | +1.50 | 83 | 69 |





