








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6279 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4222 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1455 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 3773 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,476,352 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 818 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaptein Sabeltann | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | カッター | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | DanielSeljen | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juklerød | 10 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | DannyG | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Kaptein Sabeltann | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Bjornstad | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Lord Tøffluz | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Tøffluz | 380 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 277 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kruger | 222 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | DannyG | 180 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Satisfying | 179 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjornstad | +5.13 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | TooooEasy | +3.39 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | DanielSeljen | +2.59 | 73 | 38 |
| #4 | Kruger | +2.34 | 88 | 69 |
| #5 | S0kken | +2.04 | 71 | 63 |





