








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Esplay | 129 matches | 1,457 | |
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3714 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6293 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6646 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5686 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,421,819 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | FxThor | 42% | 45 |
| #9 | Relentless | 40% | 118 |
| #10 | Hanna♡ | 37% | 123 |
| #11 | TooooEasy | 37% | 253 |
| #12 | maskiN0 | 32% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TooooEasy | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | S0kken | 17 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Hanna♡ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | JebeN | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | maskiN0 | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TooooEasy | 516 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Relentless | 467 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | S0kken | 304 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | カッター | 277 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | maskiN0 | 205 | 0.14 | 5 min |





