








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 576 matches | ||
| Esplay | 343 matches | 1,847 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7845 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8715 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7807 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5343 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,156,629 of utility $252 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 782 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeneralen | 52% | 88 |
| #2 | 「Zeptho」 | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | oNLY- | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | JebeN | 49% | 247 |
| #5 | KrenkeHenke | 48% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandvika | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | JebeN | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | カッター | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | maskiN0 | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | KrenkeHenke | 8 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Relentless | 842 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | カッター | 562 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | JebeN | 500 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | TWnation | 454 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | maskiN0 | 439 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oNLY- | +3.01 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | maskiN0 | +2.97 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | Jeneralen | +2.90 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | JebeN | +1.94 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | TooooEasy | +1.49 | 69 | 62 |





