








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 578 | 30% |
| Smokes | 542 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 388 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 414 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $198,542 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 29-1 | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | jurme | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | snkzz | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | rehab escapee | 42% | 67 |
| #5 | Lotus #YBG | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | snkzz | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | rehab escapee | 42% | 67 |
| #5 | Lotus #YBG | 39% | 49 |
| #6 | mikle | 33% | 24 |
| #7 | Kur0 | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jurme | 11 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | snkzz | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Lotus #YBG | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Kur0 | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | rehab escapee | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikle | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | rehab escapee | 64 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | snkzz | 58 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | jurme | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lotus #YBG | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rehab escapee | +4.73 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | jurme | +0.26 | 81 | 10 |
| #3 | 29-1 | +0.11 | 59 | 28 |
| #4 | snkzz | -0.22 | 59 | 45 |
| #5 | mikle | -1.07 | 52 | 52 |





