








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Faceit | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4667 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4714 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4373 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4829 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,782,547 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 876 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Sham | 70% | 54 |
| #2 | CptFlicky | 63% | 99 |
| #3 | JLow | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | ✪ Yøink -iwnl- | 58% | 57 |
| #5 | Tech | 58% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Krels | 57% | 46 |
| #9 | skaoud | 56% | 103 |
| #10 | coach | 52% | 52 |
| #11 | Siren | 47% | 49 |
| #12 | papa pig | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 38 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | papa pig | 34 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | skaoud | 27 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | CptFlicky | 25 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | ✪ Sham | 17 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 925 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #2 | CptFlicky | 313 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | skaoud | 311 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | coach | 272 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | mort | 243 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CptFlicky | +2.62 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | mort | +2.19 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | Tech | +1.96 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | seemitch | +1.79 | 85 | 54 |
| #5 | ✪ Sham | +1.45 | 85 | 54 |





