








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1063 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5119 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2980 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2388 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2729 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2456 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,630,265 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 917 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shugg | 90% | 20 |
| #2 | crash | 90% | 20 |
| #3 | Quantum | 75% | 20 |
| #4 | Quantum♿ | 62% | 37 |
| #5 | 나는 귀여운 새끼 고양 | 62% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | FL45H | 59% | 76 |
| #10 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 57% | 152 |
| #11 | Legal Name | 52% | 46 |
| #12 | Ringing Rabbit | 52% | 50 |
| #13 | TheRacingRover | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 35 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | FL45H | 11 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Legal Name | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | 나는 귀여운 새끼 고양 | 7 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 626 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 296 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | FL45H | 240 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | jedi_bk | 234 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Legal Name | 232 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shugg | +6.85 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | hzdai | +3.27 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Ordinatis | +3.25 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | Quantum | +2.51 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | Quantum♿ | +1.63 | 72 | 54 |





