








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1164 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1710 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1345 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1281 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,312,990 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 나는 귀여운 새끼 고양 | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | jedi_bk | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | hzdai | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | Quantum♿ | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Ordinatis | 52% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Legal Name | 51% | 156 |
| #7 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 48% | 162 |
| #8 | Ringing Rabbit | 47% | 106 |
| #9 | FL45H | 47% | 60 |
| #10 | Not Bibo | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 27 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | hzdai | 23 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Legal Name | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | FL45H | 13 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 12 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legal Name | 771 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | Ordinatis | 520 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 315 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | FL45H | 170 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | hzdai | 148 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | +3.81 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | hzdai | +3.81 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | Quantum♿ | +3.15 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | +0.11 | 49 | 50 |
| #5 | MerliN | +0.02 | 66 | 52 |





