








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1147 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2059 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2217 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2657 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,388,229 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ImaBigDyl | 51% | 67 |
| #10 | Redeye | 50% | 24 |
| #11 | nate | 50% | 38 |
| #12 | Booty Bounty Hunter | 50% | 74 |
| #13 | CHRIZZ | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 94 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Baby Yoda | 27 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Doltrax | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | ImaBigDyl | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | spak | 6 | 0.0099 |





