








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4138 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1495 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2866 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1386 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,089,244 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nate | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | Booty Bounty Hunter | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Astro | 58% | 261 |
| #4 | Nuaj | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | jotherc-iwnl- | 51% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Astro | 58% | 261 |
| #4 | Nuaj | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | jotherc-iwnl- | 51% | 138 |
| #6 | Redeye | 48% | 33 |
| #7 | ImaBigDyl | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 91 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | Nuaj | 45 | 0.0223 |
| #3 | jotherc-iwnl- | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ImaBigDyl | 7 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | nate | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 544 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nuaj | 227 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | jotherc-iwnl- | 152 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Redeye | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | nate | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuaj | +4.27 | 90 | 52 |
| #2 | nate | +3.45 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | Astro | +3.27 | 89 | 52 |
| #4 | jotherc-iwnl- | +1.10 | 80 | 47 |
| #5 | Baby Yoda | -1.00 | 65 | 43 |





