








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 595 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11709 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10327 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9726 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 10017 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,678,896 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1792 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Go Trade Men | 78% | 65 |
| #2 | Invest in Antwerp | 77% | 73 |
| #3 | the dollar | 76% | 76 |
| #4 | Nuaj | 76% | 123 |
| #5 | HamSandwich (._.) | 74% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 65 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Nuaj | 59 | 0.0251 |
| #3 | Doltrax | 57 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Frankfurda | 34 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | CHRIZZ | 26 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doltrax | 2020 | 0.13 | 52 min |
| #2 | CHRIZZ | 833 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | Frankfurda | 792 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #4 | nate | 705 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #5 | Astro | 558 | 0.14 | 15 min |





