








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2318 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2335 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3189 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2663 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,274 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | M's Boztrom | 50% | 230 |
| #5 | Sheepy | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | Dante | 49% | 59 |
| #7 | kawaii | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | bisquake | 42% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M's Boztrom | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | bisquake | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Dante | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Sammy Ricebot | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Vapour | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M's Boztrom | 1224 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #2 | bisquake | 653 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Vapour | 213 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dante | 161 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sheepy | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M's Boztrom | +5.54 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | kawaii | +0.99 | 48 | 46 |
| #3 | Vapour | +0.31 | 57 | 54 |
| #4 | Dante | -0.33 | 50 | 56 |
| #5 | TheTruthFader | -0.78 | 30 | 44 |





