








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 378 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7368 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5775 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3154 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4306 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,345 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stuart | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | $lim | 71% | 31 |
| #3 | Donk | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | sly_albz | 67% | 112 |
| #5 | jo5ephj | 59% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jo5ephj | 59% | 210 |
| #6 | OPSツ | 58% | 311 |
| #7 | grogシ | 57% | 351 |
| #8 | dnx | 57% | 133 |
| #9 | Charlie_010 | 54% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlie_010 | 30 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | dnx | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | grogシ | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | OPSツ | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | jo5ephj | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grogシ | 1069 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | OPSツ | 1007 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #3 | jo5ephj | 554 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | sly_albz | 363 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | Charlie_010 | 339 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | +2.43 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | sly_albz | +1.15 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | OPSツ | +0.71 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | jo5ephj | +0.20 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | $lim | +0.07 | 46 | 68 |





