








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2070 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2386 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1473 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2063 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $907,418 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly_albz | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | dnx | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | tibs | 59% | 210 |
| #4 | grogシ | 59% | 148 |
| #5 | OPSツ | 56% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dnx | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | tibs | 59% | 210 |
| #4 | grogシ | 59% | 148 |
| #5 | OPSツ | 56% | 140 |
| #6 | Charlie_010 | 56% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlie_010 | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | tibs | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | OPSツ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | grogシ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | dnx | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | 753 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | OPSツ | 498 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | grogシ | 489 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Charlie_010 | 118 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | dnx | 98 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | +2.11 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | sly_albz | +1.15 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | OPSツ | +0.67 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | jo5ephj | +0.33 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | grogシ | +0.03 | 61 | 55 |





