








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 21% |
| Smokes | 681 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 793 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1216 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,433 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jo5ephj | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | tibs | 57% | 133 |
| #3 | OPSツ | 57% | 93 |
| #4 | grogシ | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | Charlie_010 | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tibs | 57% | 133 |
| #3 | OPSツ | 57% | 93 |
| #4 | grogシ | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | Charlie_010 | 51% | 68 |
| #6 | sly_albz | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlie_010 | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | tibs | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | grogシ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | jo5ephj | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | OPSツ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | 516 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | OPSツ | 336 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | grogシ | 309 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | jo5ephj | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Charlie_010 | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | +2.71 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | OPSツ | +1.60 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | jo5ephj | +0.50 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | grogシ | -0.43 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | Charlie_010 | -0.51 | 62 | 53 |





