








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1491 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1976 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1703 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,468 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly_albz | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | OPSツ | 59% | 139 |
| #3 | jo5ephj | 56% | 80 |
| #4 | grogシ | 54% | 139 |
| #5 | tibs | 54% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | OPSツ | 59% | 139 |
| #3 | jo5ephj | 56% | 80 |
| #4 | grogシ | 54% | 139 |
| #5 | tibs | 54% | 243 |
| #6 | dnx | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | dnx | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | OPSツ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | grogシ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | jo5ephj | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | 778 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | grogシ | 473 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | OPSツ | 467 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | jo5ephj | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | dnx | 110 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | +2.46 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | OPSツ | +1.07 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | jo5ephj | +0.39 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | sly_albz | -0.16 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | grogシ | -0.72 | 61 | 56 |





