








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1671 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2179 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 948 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,784 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grogシ | 71% | 45 |
| #2 | jo5ephj | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | tibs | 67% | 112 |
| #4 | OPSツ | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | Charlie_010 | 62% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | OPSツ | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | Charlie_010 | 62% | 26 |
| #6 | $lim | 60% | 70 |
| #7 | Stuart | 58% | 60 |
| #8 | Donk | 56% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donk | 16 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | $lim | 14 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Stuart | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Charlie_010 | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | tibs | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | 367 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Donk | 307 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | $lim | 214 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stuart | 214 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | grogシ | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibs | +2.59 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | grogシ | +1.53 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | sly_albz | +1.16 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | OPSツ | +0.15 | 67 | 76 |
| #5 | $lim | +0.12 | 48 | 66 |





