








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 265 | 26% |
| Smokes | 329 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 204 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 235 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,613 of utility $275 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MJL1BS | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | DukeWish | 44% | 63 |
| #8 | RushedOrange333 | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | SaltedCream™ | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | Former UN General Secretary KiMo | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DukeWish | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | RushedOrange333 | 2 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | Quinnjo | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | MJL1BS | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DukeWish | 167 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Quinnjo | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Former UN General Secretary KiMo | 25 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | SaltedCream™ | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quinnjo | +3.54 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | DukeWish | +2.20 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | +2.14 | 44 | 45 |
| #4 | RushedOrange333 | +0.87 | 61 | 39 |
| #5 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | -0.19 | 46 | 46 |





