








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 56 | 10% |
| Smokes | 117 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 218 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,356 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DukeWish | 49% | 83 |
| #8 | LilKonky4405 | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | rubaiyacht | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | SaltedCream™ | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | Dylan | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DukeWish | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Quinnjo | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | rubaiyacht | 3 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DukeWish | 270 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Quinnjo | 192 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | SaltedCream™ | 79 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylan | +8.13 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | Quinnjo | +3.02 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | rubaiyacht | +1.26 | 81 | 45 |
| #4 | DukeWish | +0.58 | 49 | 64 |
| #5 | RushedOrange333 | +0.54 | 55 | 48 |





