








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6776 | 46% |
| Smokes | 3462 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1525 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2963 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,791 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeus | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 60% | 112 |
| #3 | EisdieleFifty | 58% | 118 |
| #4 | LeadOsprey58 | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Flashpoint | 56% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 41 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | Flashpoint | 40 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | FURIOUSSS | 23 | 0.0304 |
| #4 | __Nz__ | 18 | 0.0168 |
| #5 | EisdieleFifty | 16 | 0.0067 |





