








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 789 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1214 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 932 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 852 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $657,722 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zach | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | Matrix | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Zaris | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | EliteEthan117 | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Randillion | 67% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | swifty | 58% | 24 |
| #9 | topshadow | 55% | 31 |
| #10 | religion | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | Jax | 47% | 15 |
| #12 | icarus | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poxteria | 5 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | topshadow | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Zach | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Zaris | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliteEthan117 | 223 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #2 | Poxteria | 117 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Randillion | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zach | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zach | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matrix | +3.23 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | Randillion | +2.47 | 96 | 71 |
| #3 | icarus | +2.15 | 84 | 52 |
| #4 | Poxteria | +1.00 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | EliteEthan117 | +0.85 | 75 | 72 |





