








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1365 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1840 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1262 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,998 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Shelter | 66% | 47 |
| #2 | r u fr rn brh ts pmo sm lke u r | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Riot dog | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | Idaho Paratrooper | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Gwumpy Shork | 47% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Idaho Paratrooper | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Gwumpy Shork | 47% | 127 |
| #6 | Shark Bait | 47% | 43 |
| #7 | New boi lemon | 40% | 20 |
| #8 | Toony | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riot dog | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Gwumpy Shork | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Shark Bait | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Toony | 3 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | New boi lemon | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Shelter | 78 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Idaho Paratrooper | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Riot dog | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shark Bait | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | r u fr rn brh ts pmo sm lke u r | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Idaho Paratrooper | +5.55 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Gwumpy Shork | +4.23 | 76 | 27 |
| #3 | -Shelter | +3.72 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | r u fr rn brh ts pmo sm lke u r | +2.72 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | Knight- | -0.45 | 46 | 50 |





