








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2134 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2467 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2660 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,161 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 958 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New boi lemon | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Shark Bait | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | Knight- | 66% | 47 |
| #4 | Gwumpy Shork | 59% | 98 |
| #5 | FIVEHEAD | 57% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riot dog | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | FIVEHEAD | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Nude Taco | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Gwumpy Shork | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Soviet Waffles | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soviet Waffles | +3.34 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | Gwumpy Shork | +3.05 | 75 | 26 |
| #3 | FIVEHEAD | +2.70 | 88 | 62 |
| #4 | -Shelter | +2.35 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | Karlos | +0.07 | 54 | 39 |





