








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2902 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3078 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1657 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2628 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,106,966 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUM | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | blackstorm | 55% | 116 |
| #3 | p@ti | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | .wyne666 | 54% | 244 |
| #5 | Joe | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Joe | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | Gaybob Fagpants | 52% | 116 |
| #7 | First Lieutenant KnuT | 51% | 55 |
| #8 | ✪ HENIOOO | 50% | 117 |
| #9 | Blizzard | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .wyne666 | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | p@ti | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | First Lieutenant KnuT | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | ✪ HENIOOO | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Gaybob Fagpants | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .wyne666 | 616 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | blackstorm | 409 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Gaybob Fagpants | 378 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✪ HENIOOO | 173 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Blizzard | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | +2.68 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | blackstorm | +1.12 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | .wyne666 | +0.77 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | jorge (new audio settings) | +0.22 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | p@ti | -0.64 | 50 | 47 |





