








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9351 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5995 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6036 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6795 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,667,164 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | .wyne666 | 52% | 234 |
| #7 | jorge (new audio settings) | 52% | 116 |
| #8 | Laggende | 48% | 56 |
| #9 | Byro | 46% | 41 |
| #10 | First Lieutenant KnuT | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | 21 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | ✪ HENIOOO | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | .wyne666 | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | First Lieutenant KnuT | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | p@ti | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackstorm | 870 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | .wyne666 | 612 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | jorge (new audio settings) | 344 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✪ HENIOOO | 333 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | SpeaR | 280 | 0.12 | 7 min |





