








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 532 matches | ||
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9851 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8998 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5375 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5843 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,794,959 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mupples | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | p@ti | 59% | 79 |
| #3 | scheibe | 59% | 75 |
| #4 | fuchur | 59% | 87 |
| #5 | jorge (new audio settings) | 55% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Laggende | 51% | 268 |
| #12 | YummyCheesyMeaty | 50% | 135 |
| #13 | ☯𝒀𝒖𝒎𝒊夕実 | 49% | 115 |
| #14 | Angler | 45% | 99 |
| #15 | First Lieutenant KnuT | 42% | 59 |





