








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 30% |
| Smokes | 901 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 996 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,807 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >? | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | p@ti | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | .wyne666 | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | jorge (new audio settings) | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | ✪ HENIOOO | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sandić | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | LiveD | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | blackstorm | 42% | 59 |
| #10 | Gaybob Fagpants | 42% | 62 |
| #11 | acronyx | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .wyne666 | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ✪ HENIOOO | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Gaybob Fagpants | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | jorge (new audio settings) | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | p@ti | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackstorm | 288 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | .wyne666 | 235 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | jorge (new audio settings) | 185 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gaybob Fagpants | 183 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪ HENIOOO | 91 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | +7.75 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | >? | +7.07 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | LiveD | +2.33 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | .wyne666 | +0.75 | 61 | 65 |
| #5 | blackstorm | +0.50 | 73 | 61 |





