








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 110 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6133 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5096 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5405 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4149 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,995,673 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kita | 75% | 44 |
| #2 | Solopoopie | 73% | 67 |
| #3 | COPEHH | 72% | 54 |
| #4 | Zach | 69% | 182 |
| #5 | Asap | 67% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliteEthan117 | 1202 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | Zach | 758 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #3 | Zach | 534 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 284 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rise | 256 | 0.14 | 6 min |





