








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1800 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1837 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,945,208 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | naiTiF | 51% | 90 |
| #9 | Dank engine | 48% | 209 |
| #10 | k0ira | 46% | 142 |
| #11 | AsseriX | 43% | 95 |
| #12 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 38% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0ira | 24 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | naiTiF | 14 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Dank engine | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | AsseriX | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoda | 650 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | Dank engine | 445 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | k0ira | 372 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | DemariHOMO | 320 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | LatE | 295 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | söpö | +3.31 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | LatE | +2.53 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | +1.26 | 72 | 54 |
| #4 | k0ira | +1.19 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Yoda | +0.88 | 60 | 64 |





