








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 614 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 575 | 25% |
| Smokes | 612 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 652 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 483 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,259,624 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | söpö | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Bouncing Yaris | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | LatE | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | Dank engine | 48% | 169 |
| #5 | Yoda | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naiTiF | 15 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | k0ira | 15 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Bouncing Yaris | 9 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | Dank engine | 8 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dank engine | 322 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Yoda | 309 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | DemariHOMO | 289 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 214 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | k0ira | 187 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | söpö | +4.71 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | LatE | +2.88 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | Yoda | +1.75 | 62 | 60 |
| #4 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | +1.56 | 66 | 51 |
| #5 | Bouncing Yaris | +1.41 | 61 | 57 |





