








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4619 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6005 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7342 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5808 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,650,149 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LatE | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | 51% | 90 |
| #3 | DemariHOMO | 51% | 98 |
| #4 | Dank engine | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | k0ira | 48% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dank engine | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | k0ira | 48% | 92 |
| #6 | AsseriX | 47% | 108 |
| #7 | Yoda | 46% | 82 |
| #8 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 44% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0ira | 19 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Dank engine | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | AsseriX | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DemariHOMO | 392 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Yoda | 379 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Dank engine | 318 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | k0ira | 237 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 186 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LatE | +2.24 | 78 | 51 |
| #2 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | +2.12 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | Yoda | +1.36 | 65 | 63 |
| #4 | DemariHOMO | +1.33 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | k0ira | +1.30 | 74 | 62 |





