








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 716 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4512 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2109 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 6032 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4333 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,104,874 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 991 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | söpö | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Yoda | 54% | 92 |
| #3 | LatE | 52% | 225 |
| #4 | irasee | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | irasee | 16 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | 15 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | naiTiF | 14 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | söpö | 9 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | LatE | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LatE | 516 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Yoda | 426 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | DemariHOMO | 409 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dank engine | 301 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | irasee | 234 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LatE | +1.78 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | Yoda | +1.20 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | k0ira | +1.14 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | söpö | +0.83 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | +0.48 | 73 | 55 |





