








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 671 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5160 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5311 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3969 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3247 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,703,655 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1609 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoda | 63% | 60 |
| #2 | söpö | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | naiTiF | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | 55% | 108 |
| #5 | Dank engine | 55% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dank engine | 55% | 99 |
| #6 | -=ATF=-Zhilka | 54% | 41 |
| #7 | k0ira | 52% | 225 |
| #8 | AsseriX | 51% | 47 |
| #9 | DemariHOMO | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0ira | 27 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | naiTiF | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | söpö | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Dank engine | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0ira | 564 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | DemariHOMO | 422 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | Yoda | 291 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dank engine | 199 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | söpö | 166 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LatE | +1.31 | 74 | 51 |
| #2 | k0ira | +1.02 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | söpö | +0.71 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | Yoda | +0.14 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | ✪ Santander #RoadToFuckYou | +0.02 | 72 | 50 |





