








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 792 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6740 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7345 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8254 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5426 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,844,114 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophecy | 76% | 99 |
| #2 | ymcmb | 73% | 110 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 72% | 161 |
| #4 | psykosage | 71% | 180 |
| #5 | lunar | 68% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lunar | 68% | 167 |
| #6 | King Slayer | 64% | 140 |
| #7 | shibobo | 62% | 260 |
| #8 | βluE S†e3L™ | 53% | 97 |
| #9 | Fresh Potato | 53% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psykosage | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | lunar | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | ymcmb | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | King Slayer | 10 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shibobo | 920 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | lunar | 847 | 0.24 | 26 min |
| #3 | Fresh Potato | 759 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 580 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #5 | Prophecy | 523 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophecy | +3.29 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | psykosage | +3.16 | 84 | 42 |
| #3 | lunar | +2.59 | 81 | 77 |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +2.01 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | UmLungu | +1.24 | 75 | 61 |





