








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 30 | 8% |
| Smokes | 135 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 105 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,851 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaizer | 70% | 97 |
| #2 | DΓΌntemeiname | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | Schbubi | 65% | 46 |
| #4 | Tonk | 61% | 119 |
| #5 | mL | 59% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Schbubi | 65% | 46 |
| #4 | Tonk | 61% | 119 |
| #5 | mL | 59% | 144 |
| #6 | π°πππππππ | 59% | 94 |
| #7 | zartesNilpferd | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π°πππππππ | 33 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | mL | 24 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Tonk | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Kaizer | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Schbubi | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mL | 483 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Tonk | 443 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | π°πππππππ | 241 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kaizer | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | zartesNilpferd | 99 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaizer | +3.49 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | π°πππππππ | +3.27 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | mL | +3.08 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | Tonk | +3.03 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | GommeHD | -1.85 | 61 | 10 |





