








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1448 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1242 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2013 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,466,598 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 538 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Förbannat | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | biktor | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Olsson | 54% | 80 |
| #4 | Lar74 | 47% | 186 |
| #5 | Elon Musk | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pizz | 42% | 38 |
| #8 | Max | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | Peel ♥ | 42% | 60 |
| #10 | Thunberg | 33% | 30 |
| #11 | Ogrecrabs | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonken | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Elon Musk | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Lar74 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Olsson | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Max | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elon Musk | 426 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jonken | 251 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Olsson | 206 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Thunberg | 194 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | Peel ♥ | 164 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunberg | +3.16 | 91 | 75 |
| #2 | Max | +2.90 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | +2.16 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | Olsson | +0.92 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | Berkan62 | +0.88 | 79 | 48 |





