








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2959 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2215 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 6432 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5606 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,507,369 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 808 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Förbannat | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | Max | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | Ogrecrabs | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | biktor | 49% | 132 |
| #5 | Pizz | 47% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Peel ♥ | 44% | 152 |
| #9 | Lar74 | 44% | 330 |
| #10 | Berkan62 | 43% | 161 |
| #11 | Elon Musk | 41% | 226 |
| #12 | B1tchter | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elon Musk | 22 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Berkan62 | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Lar74 | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Olsson | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Thunberg | 7 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elon Musk | 984 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | biktor | 622 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | Peel ♥ | 465 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Olsson | 442 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Thunberg | 305 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunberg | +3.92 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | Max | +2.84 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | +2.13 | 85 | 67 |
| #4 | Berkan62 | +0.67 | 80 | 50 |
| #5 | B1tchter | +0.37 | 65 | 51 |





