








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2725 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1428 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1687 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2438 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $863,718 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norrborr | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Max | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | Ogrecrabs | 52% | 82 |
| #4 | Förbannat | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | biktor | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Elon Musk | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | Donkey | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | Lar74 | 44% | 107 |
| #12 | kackerlackan | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | Berkan62 | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elon Musk | 10 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Max | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Lar74 | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Berkan62 | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Ogrecrabs | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biktor | 309 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #2 | Elon Musk | 263 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Peel ♥ | 238 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Olsson | 211 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Max | 207 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +4.18 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | kackerlackan | +3.00 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | +2.36 | 88 | 68 |
| #4 | Berkan62 | +1.15 | 82 | 50 |
| #5 | Olsson | +0.39 | 62 | 65 |





