








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4112 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4217 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4513 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4331 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,099,379 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunberg | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Berkan62 | 54% | 80 |
| #3 | Lar74 | 50% | 239 |
| #4 | Pizz | 46% | 82 |
| #5 | Jonken | 45% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | biktor | 42% | 110 |
| #9 | Max | 41% | 51 |
| #10 | Elon Musk | 40% | 89 |
| #11 | Ogrecrabs | 40% | 94 |
| #12 | Donkey | 26% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lar74 | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Berkan62 | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Jonken | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | biktor | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Elon Musk | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biktor | 573 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Peel ♥ | 481 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Elon Musk | 350 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jonken | 286 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Ogrecrabs | 205 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunberg | +5.07 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | Max | +4.34 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | +2.48 | 88 | 68 |
| #4 | Berkan62 | +0.56 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | biktor | +0.30 | 72 | 66 |





