








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 562 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1994 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3452 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4873 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4629 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,669,778 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1063 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olsson | 50% | 239 |
| #2 | Förbannat | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | Peel ♥ | 49% | 195 |
| #4 | Thunberg | 47% | 87 |
| #5 | Berkan62 | 47% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pizz | 44% | 107 |
| #10 | Elon Musk | 40% | 276 |
| #11 | Ogrecrabs | 40% | 105 |
| #12 | Donkey | 40% | 53 |
| #13 | B1tchter | 36% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elon Musk | 27 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Berkan62 | 27 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Jonken | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Thunberg | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | biktor | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elon Musk | 1158 | 0.20 | 34 min |
| #2 | biktor | 718 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | Olsson | 600 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | Peel ♥ | 584 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #5 | Jonken | 522 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunberg | +3.97 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | Max | +3.38 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | +2.86 | 86 | 67 |
| #4 | Berkan62 | +0.96 | 78 | 48 |
| #5 | Olsson | +0.32 | 61 | 63 |





