








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1279 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2025 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 816 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,955 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | seи | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | DuhHero | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Solus | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | ✪J. | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rooss | 48% | 25 |
| #10 | Kimbo. | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | Zeke | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | Dream | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | hoodie | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | GeT_RiGhT | 4 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | ✪J. | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Solus | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Rooss | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | 244 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Solus | 137 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rooss | 98 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪J. | 89 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dream | 84 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solus | +2.70 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | the midmeister | +2.04 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | Rooss | +1.27 | 70 | 51 |
| #4 | seи | +1.16 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | DuhHero | +1.02 | 73 | 61 |





