








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1151 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2582 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1797 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 197 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,837,406 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | MashaTriceps | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | p3stLi | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Jonboy | 52% | 132 |
| #5 | Aptitude | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | 10 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | Solus | 8 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Jonboy | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Demon Time | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ✪J. | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonboy | 459 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Dream | 232 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪J. | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Solus | 133 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | Demon Time | 109 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solus | +1.86 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | the midmeister | +1.51 | 82 | 46 |
| #3 | ✪J. | +1.33 | 72 | 48 |
| #4 | black | +1.25 | 61 | 42 |
| #5 | Dream | +0.59 | 54 | 74 |





