








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1191 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1209 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1229 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1146 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,645 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saint STUD | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | GeT_RiGhT | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | ✪J. | 67% | 51 |
| #4 | Rooss | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | Jonboy | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dream | 61% | 33 |
| #8 | seи | 57% | 30 |
| #9 | the midmeister | 54% | 35 |
| #10 | aubbby | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | hoodie | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solus | 16 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | the midmeister | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | ✪J. | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | GeT_RiGhT | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Rooss | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solus | 423 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | GeT_RiGhT | 212 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dream | 172 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪J. | 171 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rooss | 132 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rooss | +2.17 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | GeT_RiGhT | +1.52 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | seи | +1.36 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | the midmeister | +1.11 | 73 | 46 |
| #5 | Solus | +1.03 | 68 | 56 |





