








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2840 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2170 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1911 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2134 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,213 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SFS] Ole PuT | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | ✪J. | 61% | 67 |
| #3 | black | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Saint STUD | 58% | 67 |
| #5 | Dream | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Rooss | 51% | 108 |
| #11 | Solus | 50% | 36 |
| #12 | Kimbo. | 48% | 27 |
| #13 | hoodie | 47% | 38 |
| #14 | Zeke | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rooss | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Solus | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | ✪J. | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Kimbo. | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | black | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rooss | 336 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dream | 204 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪J. | 200 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Saint STUD | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Solus | 178 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | +2.31 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | Rooss | +1.08 | 70 | 54 |
| #3 | black | +0.72 | 57 | 36 |
| #4 | Solus | +0.68 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | [SFS] Ole PuT | +0.64 | 47 | 65 |





