








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 168 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3130 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3280 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3855 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3234 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,959 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dream | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | [SFS] Ole PuT | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Jonboy | 64% | 47 |
| #4 | DuhHero | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | ✪J. | 53% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | the midmeister | 51% | 108 |
| #9 | hoodie | 48% | 27 |
| #10 | Saint STUD | 48% | 25 |
| #11 | Ballz | 46% | 26 |
| #12 | Kimbo. | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Solus | 12 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | GeT_RiGhT | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | ✪J. | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | DuhHero | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | 380 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Solus | 311 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪J. | 240 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dream | 191 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | GeT_RiGhT | 179 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeT_RiGhT | +1.81 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | the midmeister | +1.40 | 76 | 49 |
| #3 | Solus | +0.68 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | Rooss | +0.48 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | ✪J. | +0.01 | 60 | 58 |





