








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1426 | 32% |
| Smokes | 787 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1449 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 800 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,713 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | Chaotic Neutral | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | Ratz | Mummadude | 54% | 63 |
| #3 | poo | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Professional Bitch | 49% | 79 |
| #5 | Ratz | limpen14 | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | mr2 | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Ratz | Knallskott | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | poo | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Professional Bitch | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Ratz | Mummadude | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | Knallskott | 107 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ratz | mr2 | 75 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ratz | Mummadude | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Professional Bitch | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | poo | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fisteriministeren | +3.90 | 67 | 39 |
| #2 | poo | +2.86 | 79 | 29 |
| #3 | Ratz | Mummadude | +0.95 | 48 | 46 |
| #4 | Ratz | Castle | +0.63 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | Ratz | mr2 | +0.35 | 81 | 29 |





